The Road to self-discovery has been a painful journey but one we must all take at one point or another.
Being in quarantine has been a whirlwind of emotions for sure. Some days we’re okay and other days we’re in our pj’s eating all the house snacks.
As the world slowly begins to open up we’re faced with difficult choices.
Should we venture out? Adhere to this week’s safety guidelines?
I had quite a few months of growth during quarantine, focusing on my bettering my skills as a home chef and even occasionally a baker (which I’m still slightly terrible at).
But my main goals have been to sharpen my mind, hone in on my strengths, and figure out my biggest shortcomings.
Oh and how many shortcomings I have owned up to.
Things I didn’t want to admit to myself, because they aren’t qualities I admire, but struggle with and was ashamed to admit audibly.
Staring your insecurities in the face isn’t what I would call fun times but necessary nonetheless.
Since celebrating a quarantine birthday I’ve been especially in tune with my feelings.
Coming to terms with my weaknesses and addressing them is an ongoing process.
No one changes over night.
Quiet internalized thoughts haunt me every day, being that I’m my biggest critic.
This post contains affiliate links.
I’m reading a book by Renowned psychologist Jordan B. Peterson and it struck a chord with me, especially chapter 4 aptly titled, Compare yourself you who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.
I’ve come to the realization that I’m not well versed in the subject of me as I thought I was. There’s a lot of fine tuning that needs to be perfected as the years pass.
Putting thoughts to paper and really taking the time to study who I am, why I do what I do, why do I think the day I think and other questions are important aspects of knowing myself better.
Peeling off layers as a banana and discovering some bruises that need repairing and life/mind changes that still need changes.
This is the self-rediscovering act of the Book of Me.
It will take a lot of work, patience with myself and acknowledging that I’ve been a bad caretaker of myself in many aspects.
But also finding the courage and learning to be kinder less demanding of me.
There’s a lot of past hurts to unpack, lessons to learn and mental shifts to occur within my mind.
In time, I’ll achieve the level of excellence I so demand of myself but with more self-awareness and better judgement.
If you have one takeaway from this is to write down how far you’ve come as a person and celebrate those small wins.
Small steps forward are what make a clock work, and my friend that also applies to our daily lives.
Just take a step forward, then another and another.
Cause I’m all over the place as you’ll come to realize but here I’ll be Accepting my faults and Making Impactful Changes.
Lovingly,
Ellen
