Struggling to Find My Rhythm

I’ve been on a little summer break from writing on the blog. We’ve been traveling and I’ve lost my writing rhythm. I have a problem with starting things. Once I do start with a project and something goes wrong or I stop for whatever reason that project will most likely not come to fruition. Why is that? I don’t know. I guess that’s something weird about me. Mommy struggles people.

We were in Jacksonville at my parents house for a couple of weeks and once we’ve returned I’ve been focused on getting the house organized. We’re remodeling and updating the house we purchased back in the beginning of February. Slow & steady it’s coming along. Our new appliances are in place and my kitchen is beginning to look like something I enjoy cooking in.

Then there’s the occasional “I have too much on my plate” days.

I just sit on the couch with the kiddo and watch cartoons with him. I’m in a total funk right now. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been so isolated from moving away to a new place. I haven’t joined any class activities with my son. We haven’t decided on a church to attend or have gone to any to see if they fit our family (other than an open house for a new church that’s opening up soon).

Ultimately, I’ve been down a lot lately. I’m struggling to put myself out there. I’m in need of a village that’s not around and I simply don’t have the strength to search for one. Basically I’m digging myself a bigger hole of loneliness. There are days I have a burst of energy where I get lots done, my bullet journal has helped me through keeping track of my day to day activities. Sometimes I just don’t write in it for days at a time.

It’s not that I don’t want to write. I do! I’ve just had a lot on my mind. I’m being pulled in different directions and nothing gets written down. I have total scatter brain, some of it is still the effects of my miscarriage. Miscarriage, plus new city, no friends, and scatter brain are not a good combination.

I’ll have tons of ideas on what to write but I never get around to it. So today I decided to just let whatever is my head at this exact moment pour out of me so I can begin to feel some clarity. They said a brain dump is something you should do daily. I’m doing an emotional dump right now in the hopes it will get the writing/creative juices flowing again.

Thanks for sticking around & reading through my struggles. Have you gone through this or something similar? What did you do to get yourself out of the funk?