When Motherhood Isn’t Enough


What if motherhood isn’t enough ?? Some might argue it is, as I’m sure some might argue it’s not.

There’s a new mini-series on HBO called Big Little Lies and it’s very thought provoking and I imagine lots of moms are tuning in.

“Based on the same-titled best-seller by Liane Moriarty, “Big Little Lies” weaves a darkly comedic tale of murder and mischief in the tranquil beachfront town of Monterey, Calif. Amidst doting moms, successful husbands, beautiful children, and stunning homes exists a community fueled by rumors and divided into haves and have-nots, exposing fractured relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children, and friends and neighbors. via google.

It’s only on its fifth episode, plenty of time to catch up. I don’t want to give anything away about the show but the fourth episode really struck a chord with me which led to this blog post.

It asked the question I think every mom has at one point or another. Is motherhood enough? When motherhood isn’t enough , what do we do?

If you had asked me this question when I was a fresh new mom, I would have blurted out a loud YES! But as the year’s have passed that question has a different answer.

I feel like Belle in Beauty and the Beast “I want so much more than this provincial life” so we start finding ways to pass the time. Not that we aren’t busy with raising a child or housework.

But is that it? It’s fairly common and even accepted for a mother to stop working once she becomes a mom. As I did. I stopped “working” once I became a mom and picked up this blog two months later.

Is that surprising? I think not. I’m still recovering from losing the person I once was. I’m still trying to learn how to put my needs in front of others. It’s a daily struggle.

Perhaps you’re also struggling with this question. You’re cleaning up dirty diapers and picking up toys in your yoga pants wondering where is that nice lady you once were hiding?

For me, motherhood was enough for a very short period…  I need to focus on something other than the amount of toys on the floor or that pile of laundry.

I believe the only way I can save me from motherhood is to allow myself to say those words out loud without shame.

motherhood isn’t enough.

Not for me. I want more!

when-motherhood-isn't-enoughAnd that’s okay. And if that’s also you, say it proudly.

But what now? Yes, being a mother doesn’t “complete” me.

Those are waters I’m navigating too. You can start with something small or you can go big.

I allow myself down time. I don’t care if I have to plop the kid down with an iPad in order for me to have my time. My time to do whatever I please… Be it clean a bathroom, read a book or state at a wall.

Free yourself from the guilt of not being a good enough mother and take good care of yourself.

I’m certain a happy woman is a better mom.

when-motherhood-isn't-enoughSo get out of there, get a job outside of the home if it’s what you want. Take up acting, painting, dancing or take up nothing but alone time. But take the time mom.

If you are struggling with the guilt/shame of accepting that motherhood isn’t enough, if this has encouraged you in any way, please let me know in the comments below so we can connect. We can brainstorm ways to shatter the perfect mother glass box we all try so hard to fit in.

Thanks for reading.


Books To Read:

*These are affiliate links, by purchasing through the links below you help me keep up with costs associated with running a blog at no additional cost to you. Thanks in advance!

1.For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker
2.The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori
3.Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom by Pamela Druckerman
4.Praying Circles Around Your Children by Mark Batterson
5.Motherhood Realized: An Inspiring Anthology for the Hardest Job You’ll Ever Love by Power of Moms

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19 thoughts on “When Motherhood Isn’t Enough”

  1. This is an important lesson for all mothers. Kids grow up and move away. It’s important to find something outside of taking care of the family that brings you fulfillment and joy. Thank you for your encouraging words.

    1. Can you imagine the heartache once the children move on with their lives and you have no clue what to do with yourself? Self-care is too important and in the end everyone benefits.

  2. Thanks Ellen for an interesting topic! Yes, sometimes it’s not easy to be both a good mom and a wife, and it is always necessary to develop yourself. But it’s worth it, to watch then both good results and your happy family!

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