What I Miss Most About My Pre-Mom Life

The other day I joined some other moms for a mom to mom chat on Instagram . We had a really open and introspective conversation about motherhood and our pre-mom life. We were to ask a general motherhood question and the question I brought up in the chat was—

” What I miss most about my pre-mom life? “

We got some really interesting answers!

It’s not our pre-mom body (although it would be nice). It was an answer that I think a lot of moms can relate to. I say this with confidence that most moms would agree that our time is what we desperately miss about our pre-mom life.

Oh time, why did  I forsake you in my teenage years? In my early twenties!!!

George Bernard Shaw was correct when he said Youth is wasted on the young, not that I’m old or anything. I’m still in my early thirties but when I think back on all the time I had available and how sometimes I would complain about how little time I had?  So foolish. I guess we can also add that Time is wasted on the Young.

The flexibility of life of a non-parent is something that most people will only acknowledge once they have actually had children. And oh boy! It will hit you like a ton of bricks when you realize you can’t use the bathroom without an audience being present, possibly commenting.

Sure you can make time for yourself as a parent, and you definitely should but it’s just not the same. You HAVE to make time.

All of your little “freedoms” get taken away and you live for the ankle biters. My kiddo “tells” me when it’s a good time to go grocery shopping, when to shower, when to sleep or not or when to eat, when it’s a good time to make a phone call (side note: there’s never a good time to get on an important call with a toddler. EVER)

youth is wasted on the young pre mom life

Not because he actually has control over me but because their needs come first. In a sense he does, because if you are not sensitive to their emotions it’s going to blow up in your face. Their sleep comes first mostly because cranky babies, toddlers and children aren’t something I’d like to deal with in the middle of the supermarket or anywhere.

Yes, tantrums sometimes happens anyways. But a well-rested & well-fed child is less likely misbehave (for a period of time, probably shorter then you think). That’s where the decision making comes into play. What task/errand is most important? Is going to the market right now worth the possible tantrum? Maybe not, maybe tomorrow will be a better day or maybe you are at their golden hour (well-slept & fed). Then go on mama! Hit the road!

So when do we get time to ourselves? Technically we don’t, we can choose to not do something else and use that time for ourselves. But keep in mind you’ll just have to  A: do what you were supposed to be quicker B: Not do it all.

If you are not yet a mom or dad or is expecting for the first time, please do take some time to yourself. If you are planning on getting pregnant, this would also be a great time to the those things you’ve always wanted to sans baby. Parenthood is tough, it’s exhausting and you don’t get breaks.

Is it worth it? Of course it is. But with everything that is worth something comes a lot of sacrifice, hard work and perseverance. You have to be ready and willing to deal with the demands of tiny human beings.

I miss my pre-mom life but I wouldn’t change being a mom for anything.

Thanks for stopping in!



Book Recommendations:

*These are affiliate links, by purchasing through the links below you help me keep up with costs associated with running a blog at no additional cost to you. Thanks in advance!

1.For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker
2.The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori
3.Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom by Pamela Druckerman
4.Praying Circles Around Your Children by Mark Batterson
5.Motherhood Realized: An Inspiring Anthology for the Hardest Job You’ll Ever Love by Power of Moms

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Coping With Stress Brought on by Motherhood

I don’t know when my obsession with silence started but I can only guess it was after I became a mom. I’ve never needed so much quiet time as possible as I need now. When you’re in mom mode you are in constant movement.  Saying NO for the millionth time in a row or keeping your child from electrocuting themselves is a perpetual nightmare.

When my son is napping that’s when I usually write or do something that would work out better if he wasn’t around like an important phone call. Maybe I’ll put on a movie or clean something.  But there are a few things I will not do, which are run the dishwasher or laundry (unless it’s just folding). I don’t mind certain noises, but even the sound of the AC turning on makes me want to get up and turn it off.

It gets worse when bedtime comes around. After he is down for the night, I DEFINITELY do not want to hear any noises at home. Doors opening and closing are something that truly irk me. I don’t mind having the T.V. on but it has to be a level next to impossible to hear (I usually just read the caption). I’m so paranoid that I will do something to wake Nico up that a pin drop will irritate probably.

I’m telling you this because I am truly obsessed. I haven’t run across any other moms (not personally) that obsess over noises as much as I do. It’s gotten to a point sometimes that I just feel it’s better for me to go to bed than get irritated by random noises. Could it be motherhood has caused me to go bonkers? (more bonkers than I already was?)  Being alone is also something I treasure like crazy now. I just need a few minutes to myself. Not making anyone food, not cleaning up after anyone, just me… alone… with a cellphone in hand. I know this one for sure most moms would agree on. Feels like a vacation doesn’t it? Ahhhh 5 minutes of silence and solitude.

I find peace in solitude.. truthfully I’ve never been one to enjoy crowded, loud places and I’ve determined that it’s okay for me. So tell me there is one of you out there that obsess with being left alone?  Motherhood is the toughest, most draining job there is and of course it’s rewards are incogitable but it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is HARD. De-stressing at the end of the day is necessary for every one and I hope you also have a healthy way of doing that.

We all joke about how moms are infatuated with wine. There are countless memes on the internet recounting of such tales. But I can tell you that they are true and wine is a great stress-reliever when consumed responsibly.

Having some time for meditation also is a great stress-reliever.  This one is a difficult one for me but I think it’s the most helpful. We always want to be “doing” something and having 10 minutes of silence can be a great way to re-compose ourselves. If you can go for a walk during your quiet time, even better. You can get your exercise in and clear your head at the same time.

Something else that helps me is reading books. I love buying new books and with mostly every book imaginable available at our fingertips now with online shopping, if you want to read something right now buying the kindle version of it, is just a few seconds away.  I have a few that I’ve downloaded all ranging in different topics, this way I can read something to go according to how my day went.

These are easy things we can do to make sure we remain sane throughout our journey through the very tumultuous thing they called motherhood.

I’m glad you’ve stopped by and hope I’ve given you some tips to help coping with stress. Do you have any tips for dealing with stress? Let me know in the comments below.

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Books I’m Reading & Recommend

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker
The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori
Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom by Pamela Druckerman

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When The Day is Hard…

I normally keep a pretty upbeat & uplifting vibe here, but there are days I really just don’t want to do any parenting. Today is one of them. The incessant need to say “NO” to everything your toddler does takes a toll on you and nap-time couldn’t have come at a better time.

You ever just want to yell out… DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! It’s so exhausting having to repeatedly say the same thing over and over again. That’s not you? Only me. Okay. Usually the hardest days become even harder by the end of the day. But we keep pushing and telling ourselves we can do it. Yesterday’s post was a super upbeat one but today I am beat. I’m not out of my pajamas (if you want to call these pj’s, don’t picture something pretty… they are pj bottoms with a church Christmas shirt), and I haven’t even put a bra on and unless I decide to venture out of the house, this will be today’s look. Fashionable right?

So what do you do when “adulting” & parenting just isn’t on the cards today? It’s not like we can sit this one out. I gotta put on my big girl panties and huff & puff through the day, hoping it will tantrum-less.

My son is napping right now which is why I am able to write this post, but he went down fighting. Yesterday was an amazing Monday, and he slept for 3 whole hours!!!  I’m not so sure I will be blessed with such a long nap today. It usually ends up being the opposite when I’m not in the best of moods. Although I’m not feeling all that hot. I do have some things I want to get done today, writing a blog post being one of them. So checking that box!

I’m already starting to feel better as I write this. I wonder what else I can write to get me back on track for the day and finish strong? Maybe get out of these hideous clothes? The kiddo is asleep in the room I wouldn’t dare venture back in with the fear of waking him. So that one will be something to check off the list a bit later.. hopefully a lot later.

But getting some food in my belly would probably make me feel a bit better too.. another cup of coffee perhaps? This one I can definitely do. BRB! Okay, grabbed more coffee and some toast. I should really have some lunch but I don’t want to make myself anything. So I guess I just answered my own question. I will be going out to lunch later on and we’ll be dressing myself like a grown person.

Wow, you guys totally helped me today. Not kidding! Thank you so much for reading and helping me somewhat get out of my funk.  Check out yesterday’s post for a happier Me.

Thanks for reading. Leave me some positive comments to brighten up my day!

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Books I’m Reading & Recommend

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker
The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori
Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom by Pamela Druckerman

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Just an Update

Hey Lovelies,

I haven’t had a whole lot of quiet time since moving in with the in-laws, so writing in-depth posts has been difficult. I can’t focus when there’s lots going on around me and I hardly have “quiet” time.

I do have “quiet” time right at this moment, everyone is out and the kiddo is asleep.  But I’m not feeling truly inspired to write anything new or continue working on older drafts.  I really only write when I’m inspired about something. And right now, the inspiration is DO NOTHING. 😉

I’ve done some laundry, again. I’ve made breakfast for my family and gone on my daily walk with Nico. I’m trying to plan something fun for us to do today but the laziness keeps creeping up on me.
On to a lighter note. I have been working semi-hard on losing weight and toning and I think it’s paying off. I’ve been trying to run/walk at least every other day. I don’t know how long this will last because I do have a bad knee but I’m pushing myself and went as far as 4 miles yesterday. My best distance yet. I’m hoping to regularly do 5 miles but within less time.

I used to be a great runner back in the day, 1 mile within 7 minutes. I’m not even close to that, but it’s something I will keep trying to achieve, maybe not within that time frame but somewhere around 9 minutes a mile.  I see my legs are beginning to tone up well and it motivates me to do more. I’ve been really good about eating salads at home. I still eat bread in the morning and will occasionally eat something I shouldn’t but I think depriving myself of certain foods only help me to not keep going.

So I’ve been eating healthy about 80% of the time and 20% enjoying foods without guilt.  I think that’s a great compromise and it hasn’t been hurting my weight-loss at all. So on-wards we go. I’m at a decent weight but want to lose around 10-15 pounds more. I know those last pounds are the hardest to go but it only works if you work it.

I’ve never been a “working out” girl but I would love my son to see his parents practicing healthy living. We hope this also influences him to follow the same path and lead a healthy life. Our children mirror our actions and I feel this is one of the easier things to check off the WHAT TO DO PARENTING LIST if there is such a thing.

That’s all folks. I’m going to enjoy reading a book during this few minutes of quiet time I have.

Thanks for stopping in and reading. If you’re in need of some encouragement, write in the comments below and I’ll be sure to pour into your heart.♥

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Books I’m Reading & Recommend

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker
The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori
Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom by Pamela Druckerman

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Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

Some R&R in Orlando but Not Really

Hello Lovelies, 

Who doesn’t love a vacation? I know I did, or use to. We went to Orlando this past weekend, we spent 4 days there. We rented a lovely house with a pool and lots of space.

Very different from the set up we have now at my in-laws, it was a great change of scenery. I welcomed all the space we had.  We went with a few family members and Nico got to play with all of his little cousins. The kids had a lot of fun.

The adults had a lot of work. As we all know I’m super strict with my son’s sleeping schedule and he was off it for the entire time we were there.
There was a lot of crankiness and restlessness going around.  Having lunch at restaurants and waiting for large parties to be seated and then having to wait for the food to arrive is rough on a parent.

Kids don’t understand the concept very well, and with three kids, 3 and under, SO TOUGH. But we did get to go out at night. We put the kiddo’s to bed and went out just the adults while the grandparents stayed at home with the children.

I do have to admit, that was tough too. As much as I wanted to be out and about, I was so tired. Orlando is a lot of fun (I lived there once after I graduated from high school). There is so much to do and see, and we also had a first timer with us visiting from Brazil.  We wanted to show him as much as possible.

Since my son wakes up around 6:30/7 am, getting home at almost 2 am isn’t what I call fun in the morning. I’m no spring chicken, I need my sleep in order to be a functioning parent. (I sound like a toddler myself) I’m sure you all can agree. Although I do envy the moms & dads who can run full steam with little to no sleep. Kudos to you. I know for a fact I am not one of those parents.

So when do vacations become vacations again after kids? Do they ever? I wish I could offer some advice to parents vacationing with kids. This is more of a plea for help. HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Well, we are back home and we got through it. We’re back to our regularly scheduled naps and happy children. Thank God!

Have those vacationing tips to share?? Write them in the comments below, I would really love to know.


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Dealing With Unsolicited Parenting Advice

Unsolicited Parenting Advice

If you follow my blog, you know that I read A LOT.  Reading helps me analyze what choices I’m going to make for my family. Whether or not I should or shouldn’t do certain things. Although I don’t particularly follow one set of strict rules I do abide by some.

Although I’m a fairly holistic mama, I don’t condemn any parent for taking a different approach for your family. You know what is best for them and we all live differently. I don’t expect to be judged on my choices, which isn’t always the case but we move on.

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Teaching Kindness to Children in 3 Steps

teaching kindness to children

I’m so glad you are reading this! It means you are wanting to begin teaching kindness to your children. It absolutely begins in our homes so let’s do this!!!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what traits & qualities I would like to instill in my son and how my actions teach him everyday and mold him into the man he will one day become. We run across all different kinds of families, it may be at the playground, at the mall, at a restaurant and countless other places.

We struggle with different things but in the end we hope to raise decent human beings. Teaching kindness is a way to start but first I have a little story to tell you.

Continue reading “Teaching Kindness to Children in 3 Steps”

Happy Friday & 4th of July Weekend + Fruit Wands!

Photo Credit:Babble

Hello Lovelies!

I hope you all had a great week and have something super planned for the 4th of July holiday weekend.

We’ve have now settled into my in-laws house for the time being.  Nico is having a blast hanging out with his grandparents daily. He especially enjoys when his two cousins Cam (a couple of months younger) and Hailey (a couple of months shy of 3) come over for play time.

Grandma & Grandpa are definitely happy to have all the kiddos around and mommy & daddy get a little break, okay, mommy gets a little break. LOL.

With the holiday weekend upon us I’ve been thinking about taking Nico to the beach and having him enjoy the 4th of July fireworks display. We haven’t decided if we’re taking the little one to see the fireworks show.

First, I don’t want to scare him with all the noise.  Although I’ve gotten him used to noisy things, I try to make a party about running the blender, the vacuum and anything noisy so he doesn’t scare easily, I think it has worked, but fireworks are a different story.

I’ve thought about letting him watch some YouTube videos with fireworks if maybe that will give him a better experience if we decide to take him.

Secondly, since it gets dark pretty late now, it will be past his bedtime.  He could be super cranky but nighttime and NO ONE will enjoy any fireworks.

I do think we’ll be having a simple & casual BBQ with the family to celebrate with lots of healthy snacks, especially a juicy watermelon, which I plan on cutting into little stars.  I found this easy DIY on Weelicious, they call them “Fruit Wands”, certainly better than what I would call them.

What are you doing with your family for the holiday? Got a any special activities planned? How did your children react to their first fireworks display? Let me know in the comments below.

Have a Happy 4th from our family to yours.

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